Servus, dear reader: Your servant, Wolf Mozart. You may know me as the world's greatest, naughtiest, and least modest musical prodigy. There's a lot out there about how I lived and composed and died; but I thought some stories about how I straddled fences between these opposites might amuse you—even if things didn't really sort out that way. But couldn't they have? So far there are five of these tales—alas, none yet published— and I'm sure there'll be more in years to come. Pray enjoy them, as I have enjoyed their fabrication.